"I'm going to play Dark Urge, I'm going to play a Drow, I'm going to play a Half Elf Cleric of Selune-" No. I grow tired of filling Faerun with hotties and encouraging my party's fatherless behavior.

To remedy this I have made Your Dad, the ultimate 1:1 replica of the average New Jersey father to save the realm and put a stop to my party's sad, horny business.

And before you can even ask "oh what is the Guardian Your Mom or something" of fucking course she is you fool

November 29, 2023 - Kissinger has finally died! 🦀🦀🦀

the authors note of all time

ALT

from the anthony new mexico library

Remember that "three items from the store to make the cashier most uncomfortable" meme? Apparently I accidentally found a winning combo tonight at the corner store, one of the usual clerks shot me a really weird look when I was checking out with these

when your pet comes to you from another room, the preceding moments meant that they were alone somewhere and thought about YOU, an animal brain literally thought about you and came to you to see what you were doing. that’s love, unconditional.

Baby elephant seal vs adult elephant seal

Lonk

Absolutely awful

fuck healthy female friendship i want toxic lesbian sex on every tv in the nation

The hoes are unimpressed with your sarcastic detachment, and are enchanted with my sincere wonder. Writhe like the worm you are.

ALT

how i spend my time on tumblr dot com